other people.

Knocked back a slug of whiskey and thought to at least make an effort to write to you tonight. There are people around me and conversing when I would usually prefer to be in silence for such a thing. But I'm trying to cultivate a mindset that any such thinking is a tendency toward laziness.

More often nowadays I wake up later in the morning. It was easier when I was with you but now...

Being isolated for too long makes you feel as if a lot of things are more banal. You see two people interacting in a way that in a past life you would have thought would make you feel a certain way, perhaps a kind of giddiness whenever they would intimate in a smile how much they were participating in something together, something joyous that only the two of them could rightfully understand.

But instead your eyes become glassy and you end up only gawking. You see their vivacity as something to be set apart and analyzed. Their actions are pared down and their expressions start to look a little forced.

I never thought myself to be so cynical.